Failure

I was supposed to post this on last Friday but didn't due to depression.
well, I got back my Mock Exam results on Thursday.
FUCK.
I failed Calculus.
I just passed Chemistry.
My Physics sucks.
My EALD sucks too.
I did feel sad over these results.
But I told myself that I still had Applics result to go. I put all my hopes on it cos I really worked hard for it. Maybe I can pass with flying colours and be happy? It can be my source of inspiration to work harder towards my External Exam too.
No.
I did poorly for Applics too.
It's so depressing man!
These results changed my life. Cos the weightage for each subject is damn heavy (especially Calculus)
My ATAR dropped tremendously.

Sigh.. Everything went well but in the end.. looks like I failed the revenge game.
I don't know what is wrong with me.
I stayed back in library EVERYDAY to study.
Yet my results are still shit. It's even worse than my Evaluation Exam.
It's so hard to get over it man.
My friends who main-main only also did much much better than me.
I admit I'm jealous.. I feel I deserve better results than them cos I worked so much harder than them..

sigh.. this is my life anyway.. a life filled with disappointment.
after receiving my shitty results.. I dun feel like studying anymore.
what's the point of studying hard knowing ur results in the end will still be shit?

well.. maybe my studying method is fucked up?
then what are the effective ways to study?
anyone??
sigh.. I wonder where's my spirit to study hard during high school times.

Thank goodness I'm feeling much better now after playing basketball with my high school friends and receiving my FIFA10 earlier than expected.
I think I'm okay now.. Still need some time to get over the disappointment..
and then it's time to look for new methods to study. ^^
I WILL NOT STUDY IN LIBRARY ANYMORE XD