19/3/10

I'm kind of scared to go to cafeteria for lunch every Friday.
because definitely I will see Ee Tien there.
it should be a good thing.
but.. actually no.
I don't know why.
she will be with her friends.
so I don't think she has the time to talk to me.
and we just ended up greeting each other and that's it.
it's not really what I like.
it feels weird. haha

anyway, it wasn't a good morning to begin with for today.
Zi Wei only talked to Wen Leong regarding our project.
as if I don't belong to the group.
I wonder is it because she thinks that I lack of ideas?
man it's so sad.
and then, while they were working on the vehicle,
I offered to help.
and they kindly rejected me.
in the end, the test-run was successful.
our vehicle traveled as far as 6m.
they were very happy.
but not me.
I provided the least contribution to the group.
how am I supposed to share the joy with them? =(

after Physics lecture, it was lunch time.
yes, I was praying so hard not to meet her in cafeteria during our lunch break.
I purposely chose a corner most stall to buy my food so that I could avoid her.
and damn it.
while I was waiting for my order, she came with her friend. =.=
after happily talking to her friend for bout 5 minutes,
she only noticed me.
she greeted me like usual.
and introduced her friend to me.
and that was all.
since I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone at that time.
so she resumed talking to her friend, got her order and left.
before she left, she said goodbye to me.
with a smile of course.
not too bad after all.
but somehow, I felt from the way she treated me,
the message was forgotten already.
or.. rather the message was ignored?
I know I shouldn't start judging her response after meeting her just twice after that day.
after all, I told her the message is already the past.
it's not a surprise with the way she treated me now.

well, let's say she really knows the meaning of the message and ignores it.
it's a sign of rejection right? =(
sigh~
anyway, it will be expected to happen.
knowing myself very well.
but still.. definitely it takes time to get over it.
well, on the positive side,
I can tell myself to stop thinking of her and fully concentrate on my studies.
at least I won't get emotional again because of her.
wow~
looks like a new life is about to begin. O.o

alright, it's timeS for my Mathematics lectureS nowS.
bye bye bye~