the promise

as stated few days back, I'll post something quite important on someday this week.
I think now is the right time. ^^
yes.
it is a promise that I made for myself at the end of last year.
I really wanted to post it last year.
but I was unlucky.
damn it.
now I don't know if could I keep this promise to myself. =.=

anyway, the promise is..
not getting myself involved in courtship anymore.
I'm not joking k.
after going through so much last year.
I have realized that I'm not a bf material person.
I don't drive.
I don't like to go out.
and worst is.. I don't like to engage in long conversation.
relationship involves a lot of commitments.
I'm aware of that.
and seriously, I think I'm not ready for them yet.
and heck why am I still courting my crush?
I guess I knew the reason ady. =(
sigh~
at least I realized it now.
I can't imagine if I only realize it when I ady have a gf.
definitely there will be lots of negative consequences.

that's why..
I promised that I will put my full concentration on my studies in uni
and back away from courtship
until the when time is right to get my ass back into it.
so.. if I befriend a girl in my course,
I will not lay a single interest in her
even if she's as cute as Grace
as busty as Shu Yi
as hardworking as Xuanlin
as funny as Ee Tien
as cheerful as Joon Leng
OMG if she rly fulfills all of the above criteria,
hmmmmm
I dunno. LOL

but it's not easy.
because Ee Tien is in the same uni as me! >.<
it's hard to tell myself to keep the promise whenever I see her. haha
sigh~
I admit that I do like her.
I don't mind accompanying her, making craft-works for her and caring so much for her.
but that's not the way right?
I should instead take her out for lunch, dinner, movie.. and many more outings.
I should meet her in person more often instead of just keeping in touch with her through sms and msn.
knowing my nature, I'm not ready for these commitments.

I bet after reading this post,
u all will react like "WTF??"
I know the problem is with me.
I will change.
but it's gonna take some time.
hopefully the time when I am fully ready for relationship will come.
meanwhile, study comes first!
hopefully.... =.=