dream.. is over again

Yesterday night I kept thinking about the CHM1022 paper.
I realized.. I made more mistakes than I expected. =(
*sighs*
a tougher paper than past years',
I left many blanks,
I screwed up most of the calculations
and I made mistakes with the easy questions.
yet.. I'm still hoping for a HD.
all the questions that I could answer were only enough for a D at most.
I know.. it's impossible to obtain a HD for it already.
I'm so upset now.

last semester, I had a great chance to score 4 HD's
but I failed.
then I told myself, there's always next semester.
I knew where my problem is
so this semester I definitely need to do better
and.. it seems I'm failing to make use of the chance given again. =(

I'm so upset because..
this paper was actually not hard if I'm well prepared for it.
there were quite a number of questions that were similar to the past years'
so they can be considered as bonus questions.
however.. I still couldn't answer them correctly.
plus the questions that I couldn't do at all,
they made me feel so miserable. =(
*sighs*
it's so hard to get over this.

I totally lost my motivation to study.
even if I do well for my next 2 papers,
so what?
4 HD dream is already over. =(
this semester is my best chance to score 4 HD
because beginning next semester,
the units will be much tougher
and I know.. it's not possible to score well for each of them.
I'm wasting my chance again.
*sighs*

if any of you are reading this,
I know you will think I'm crazy.
what I'm talking about now.. is about failing to obtain a HD
and not about failing the unit. =X
well, I admit I'm very ambitious.
I have reasons for it. =/
try to understand how I feel.

hopefully I will have the motivation to study for my 3rd paper soon.
bye bye bye~